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Heaven-Seeker

I was looking for heaven recently

I thought heaven's when I found my old things
I thought heaven's when I found friendship
I thought heaven's when I found 'man' I used to think 'the one'

I was walking and running everywhere.

But I was wrong.

Because old things would brake
Friendship would end
And this man turned out let down of me


Surprisingly, I found it in me.

So I don't have to go to Cappadocia
or Istanbul
or Iceland
or anywhere else exotic in the whole world

All I have to do is being peace with myself.




Neycito
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Cerita dari Flores

Haihoo, akhirnyaa setelah 8 hari terputus dengan dunia luar --sebenernya nggak segitunya juga sih, tapi berhubung provider BB-ku XL dan di Flores ternyata sama sekali nggak ada sinyal XL jadi no pang ping selama 8 hari deh yay! And now i'm back to the J-town! So, what have I missed?

Anyway, entah kenapa trip kemarin terasa lebih spiritual. Maksudku bukan spiritual yang religius yah, tapi lebih ke 'mengenal diri sendiri'.

God always be kind to me. Somehow, Dia tau kalo aku akhir-akhir ini nggak punya waktu untuk berkontemplasi dengan diri sendiri (cailah!). Tapi serius deh, secara nggak sadar, selama 7 bulan kerja, aku nggak pernah sempat memikirkan diri sendiri. Selalu keluarga, kantor, teman, tabungan *eh*. Begitu seterusnya...

Tapi trip kali ini beda. Beda sama sebelumnya, waktu ke Tapanuli. Entah kenapa, yang kali ini lebih santai, tapi lebih dalem aja gitu. Mungkin karena di Flores I got the chance to socialize with locals, which I didn't have in Tapanuli.

Dan aku belajar satu hal. There's so much more beyond the eyes could see.

Jadi proverb "don't judge a book by its cover" itu BENER BANGET. Trus bukannya sebelumnya aku nge-judge juga sih, tapi kebiasaanku, dulu aku masih punya apa yaa... semacam 'generalisasi' buat orang-orang yang aku kelompokin ke label-label tertentu. Contoh kayak aku yang 'anak bungsu' sering banget dikelompokin ke label 'anak manja', 'anak kecil', dst. Kalo ada yang nanya "Ney, kamu anak ke berapa sih?" dan setelah dapet jawaban anak terakhir, mereka langsung, "pantes..."

Cover itu apa yaa... cuma topeng terluar aja, yang mau ditunjukin ke orang. If you want to know me more, come to me, let's get closer then. Padahal selama ini aku juga begitu, tapi aku nggak sadar selama ini BANYAK juga yang sama kayak gitu juga. :P

******

Contohnya si teman yang satu ini. *semoga dia nggak baca, ya... :P *

Waaw, dia itu sasaran empuk deh kalo orang mau lihat dia dari cover-nya. Dan dia juga bukan orang yang protes kalo kita misjudgement. Aku pun sama. Pertama kali ngeliat dia, seram luar biasah! Secara physically, ga usah dilanjutin hahah... :)) *dia pasti ngakak abis kalo baca*

Tapi ternyata... Baik banget. Secara di sana aku cewek sendiri, dan kalo dia mau cuek-cuek aja kayak yang lain, selagi aku ngurus ini-itu with locals 'which-turns-out-I'm-too-naive-to-deal-with-them' sendirian, pun bisa. Secara bukan job desk dia. Tapi ternyata justru dia yang nemenin. Dia yang maju kalo orangnya seram-seram, mulai dari aku dicolekin tukang minta-minta, sampe nawar harga sama penjual bertampang seram. Haha, thank you mas!

Ternyata, banyak cerita di balik semua 'sketsa' yang terukir di badannya itu. Ternyata ternyata ternyata. Banyak ternyata. Padahal sebelum berangkat, aku udah dinasehatin banyak orang karena aku cewek satu-satunya di dalam tim, dan ada dia. :))

Aku belajar banyak dari dia. Nggak semua orang harus tau cerita kita. Dan no big deal kalo orang salah menilai kita atau punya prejudice sama kita. Dan jangan takut kehilangan teman. Karena selama kita jadi orang baik, mau cover kita kayak apa juga, sahabat dan keluarga lah yang lebih tau kita. Yang paling penting, kita nyaman dengan diri kita sendiri, peduli amat dengan kata orang. :)

Pantes ya, biar serem gitu, anak-anak, anjing, random people sampe host-nya Jejak Petualang pada nempeeeel semua. :P


Kalo bukan orang iseng dan agak gila kayak dia,
nggak akan bisa bikin 1 gereja pose imyut kayak gini. :))



The over-tanned girl,

Neycito.


P.s: Foto-foto lain menyusul di post berikutnya ya. Psssst, deep down, suka ngiri nggak sih cowok baik-baik model begini pasti udah punya pacar yang rruaarrr biasah. Qiqiqiqiqq. Peace ah!
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Look Closer

God never really leave me alone.
Dua kata basi yang selalu diucapkan orang-orang, tapi nggak ada yang pernah benar-benar bisa memaknai dua hal tersebut, apalagi prakteknya. Bersyukur dan ikhlas. Termasuk aku. Apalagi di fase baru di kehidupanku. Ngeluuuh aja bawaannya. Apalagi kalo ngeliat rumput tetangga, kok kayaknya ijo bener ya. Ya gitulah, apa aja dikeluhin. Yang sebenernya bisa untuk nggak dikeluhin, juga pasti dikeluhin. Dari jamnya, kegiatannya, orang-orangnya, susah dikit ngeluh, capek dikit ngeluh, things go wrong ngeluh. Ditambah dengan orang-orang di sekeliling yang berpikiran hal yang sama.

Tapi coba deh lihat lagi. Really? How dare me to complain for things I've ever really wanted to! Ya, aku memang pernah sangat-sangat menginginkannya. Dan ketika Allah benar-benar memberinya, memberi kesempatan untuk benar-benar belajar, apa lantas pantas kalo aku menyerah sebelum benar-benar berusaha mencintainya?

So I looked closer, and found that it's not that bad. Nggak seburuk itu, kok. Di antara jam-jam tersebut, memang ada jam-jam paling sibuk-mau-mati, tapi juga BANYAK idle time-nya. Banyak waktu istirahatnya. Dan aku banyak belajar. Untuk hal-hal yang dari dulu memang membuatku penasaran. Dan orang-orangnya. Di antara orang-orang nggak enak itu, I'm surrounded by angels. Bless me.

Sampai aku berada pada satu titik kesimpulan. God never ever really let myself feel lonely. No matter how hard it'd be, God never leave me by myself. God sent me those beautiful people to help me. Alhamdulillah. Nggak ada yang benar-benar pasti dengan masa depan. Mengapa begitu fokus dengan masa depan, dan jadi lupa kalo masa depan itu dimulai dari hari ini.

So why complain? Menambah kualitas keikhlasan untuk hal-hal kecil yang lupa kita syukuri juga nggak ada salahnya. :)


Think again,



NEY.
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Kompas TV



This is where I work all this time. Enjoy! :)



Ney.
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Facts at Work

Some of you maybe wonder what do I do. Here are some clues...




Yea, right... :))
New friends, new meats. Yumm! #drooling

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Not-So-Love-Letter

I don't know whom I'm talking with, so here I am talking to my self.

I hope, one day he would read this. No matter where he will be in the future. That I've ever loved him, and cared about him. I really did. A lot. But I just can't accept the fact that you've changed. Did you notice that? I do understand that you're a busy bee, the fact that you didn't get excited anymore when you see me, that you wanna spend your little spare time with your friends instead of me. I really do understand, that you need spaces. I do. I've tried so damn hard to bring our butterflies back. You know, I could bring back mine, but yours are out of my control.

And something that you said to me, really open my eyes. Wide.
And I don't wanna hold you from the one you'll be loved. With all your heart.

So, if someone, in the future ask, "What happened? Why it didn't work out?" You could just answered it with a simple line, "What always happened, life."

Believe me. I've tried. I stucked. And I lost my self. And it doesn't suppose to go like this.

There's a phase that I'm sure of with you, that at that time, I wanna build my future with you. But you've changed. Among billions characters in the world I could tolerate, you've changed to be someone I really couldn't.

Every night, I pray, I cry, just to beg to God to bring the-old-version-of-you back to me, if you're my one. I just can't take another game, another drama. I just can't, dear Almighty God. I just wanna have a simple life, as simple as I love him and he loves me back. Loves me for who I am, my passion, my life, and my family. For their best and worst. Just like I'll do to his. Is that so bad?

And right now I haven't stop my praying, if you're asking. I still do have faith, of you, right now. Miracles do happen, I believe. And if they don't, they will. They will find you someone you love and loves you back, and me too. I will always love you, in a different way. But maybe, this is the last time I use one of my particular label for my articles. I dont know how God works.

Live well.

Sincerely yours,

Heart
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Nowhere

I don't know what to believe anymore.

God, I beg You. Help me. I'm lost.
Please, show me the way.

I'm really begging You.
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Kak Iga's



Right. So my high school friend claimed me cause I never update my blog.
Sooo, because I don't know what to write, here I am posting our 'hang-out'.

Feels like HUNDRED years since I hang-out with them.
One word. FUN.


Cheers.

P.s: Happy newlywed to my dear sister, Iga Ismaya. Best wishes! Woohoo!
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Through The Rain


When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught and in pain
Without anyone

We keep prayin’ to saved
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can’t
Find your way home
You can get there alone
It’s okay
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on

Step fastly
And you’ll find what you need
To prepare
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind moves
And shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And sure they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stay calm and sane

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

P.s: Yes I'll hold my faith tighter
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Thing Annoys Me: This Rude Guy


You don't have to be rude to your friends just to make you look cool.
That's NOT cool, dude!

Just.... GROW UP! AND GET LOST! For Godsake.
MYOB. Would you?!

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BMT #3

New friends.

Wish me the very luck,

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59th

When I was a child...
Dad picked me up to my room when I fell asleep in front of TV
Dad cheered me up when I was sad
Dad bought me dolls to make me happy
Dad protected me from bad people
Dad believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself
Dad taught me how to be a good and respected lady
Dad let me know what is a good man

When I met my boyfriend...
He picked me up when I fainted at school
He cheers me up when I was sad
He bought me flowers to make me happy
He protects me from bad people
He believes in me, even when I don't believe in myself
He treats me like I'm a good and respected lady
He proved me that it's true, there's a good man, just like my dad

I love you, dad. Very much. As always.
Happy 59th! :')


From your 'still-nobody' daughter,

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Motivations



Sumber: Tumblr


L O V E I T !



P.s: They right about how many wolves 'out there', but the thing is I'm just a damn puppy. Wuff.
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Finally...

sunrise at the office

Setelah menunggu selama lebih dari sebulan, dan menganggur selama dua bulan, AKHIRNYA... Nggak tau juga sih ini sebenarnya sudah bisa disebut pekerjaan atau belum, tapi memang saya masih dibayar untuk belajar. And, alhamdulillah this thing really is my dream job.

Some of you, like my bestfriend, maybe wondering, "Have you been a zombie?"

Yaa karena itu tadi, kok mau-maunya dateng ke kantor pas matahari belum terbit, dan pulang dari kantor setelah matahari terbenam. And the answer is, maybe I'm an excited zombie.

I won't lie, it's exhausting, but I really am enjoying it! I can't wait myself busier than this, actually. Haha.

Can't wait where life leads me to...



P.s: I maybe can't actively post some articles or photos on this blog and tumblr in the future, boohoo me, but I will do my best. Anyhoo, my new friends are THE BEST! I can't believe how blessed I am, alhamdulillah...
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