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Gloria: This is crazy...
Melman: It is?
Gloria: It's crazy to think I had to go half way 'round the world to find out that... the perfect guy for me lived right next door.
Melman: (smiles) Then I guess it's you and me, neighbor.

Gloria & Melman, Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa

It reminds me of something and someone, don't you think so? ;)
I love Melman.

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Love Phases

According to "My Status in 2010" on Facebook, I had some kind of love phases that you all may ever had too. Please noted that those phases are made by me, I'm so sorry if I made some amateur mistakes. :D

Moment phase - when there's a moment that just 'click' you with him/her with no reason, I don't know if it 'click's you or 're-click's you. In my case, it 're-click'-ed me. You felt a great happiness in this moment, even those butterflies came out suddenly. It felt like dream, and you're floating. Euphoria.
Feb 13:
- thanks to angkot Margahayu-Ledeng, our knight bus for today. (Ricco Suhardian, Olan Maulana)
- what a colorful weekend i have here with Olan Maulana and Ricco Suhardian. Wish it lasts forever. :)
Feb 14:
Instead of one, I have my valentine's day with two men, Ricco Suhardian and Olan Maulana. ROFL!

Post-Moment phase - when you felt sad, or realized there's something missing or felt strange somewhere inside part of your body. This time, your brain and you heart didn't sync, and even had a war. The colossal one. You felt like you supposed not to feel like this in this time, and it's sooo normal if you felt stupid for being unable to control your own body.
Feb 15:
my guitar is unemployed again. *sniff*
Feb 17:
Got no feel, I got no rhythm. I just keep losing my beat. I'm ok, I'm alright. Ain't gonna face no defeat. I just gotta get out of this prison cell. Someday, I'm gonna be free, Lord! (Somebody to Love - Queen)
Feb 21:
How come the only way to know how high you get me, is to see how far I fall? -John Mayer
Feb 25:
"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

Galau phase - when your heart finally won the 'Post-Moment phase' war, and it affected your brain, a lot. And you couldn't say it directly, but you couldn't hold it inside anymore. Finally, you need to release those feelings. Some people found a way by writing it down on some social-network sites, or blogging/tumblring, with no mention or whatsoever, hoping that he/she'll read and notice it. In this phase, you don't care whether people would call you weird. You started to listen love songs, or love poets, love movies, or even search love quotes in google. (okay, the last part was me.)

Many people don't survive in this crisis-phase, and it's not your fault. It's your crush's fault, acute-idiocy, being chicken, being polite, or he/she just asked you to play, or even he/she's just simply a d*bag. If you want to play too? Go ahead. If you don't want to? Step back, immediately. In this part, it really recommended to share it with your trusted-sane-bestfriend.

Mar 02:
"Our heart sing less than we wanted. Our heart sing 'cause we do not know... The wonder that I made. I am here to stay. Stay." (A. Seyfried - Little House)
Mar 05:
i miss you more than words can say, i need a miracle now.. (i love westlife)
Mar 08:
la..la..la..la..la..la..la.. loving you, you know it's true, and la..la..la..la..la..la..la.. loving you, loving you.. (love it)
Mar 09:
"A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Mar 13:
had a great saturday night with Rashinta Stah Narulita K and Olan Maulana. Whatever happened in "Saudagar-Sea-Food", stayed in "saudagar-sea-food" yaa! Nila laut, si lumba-lumba, dan gara-gara nila setitik dibalas dengan air tuba. ;P (love) you, really I do.
Mar 18:
within you I lost myself. without you I find myself, wanting to be lost again. -anonymous-
Mar 19:
ingin menjadi wanita *sigh*

Confession phase - If you could survive until this phase, just be grateful. The crisis had passed, because he/she has read it and noticed it was him/her you always talk about. You feel like heaven on earth and a major relieved. Now you could say aaaalll the things that you've been hiding for so long. Congratulations!
Mar 21:
bismillahirrohmanirrohim. :)
Mar 24:
kangen yg ambrut. :')
Mar 29:
You could say my friend that is the end, or a new tale has begun.. (we are one-westlife)
Apr 03:
just have finished my very first soto banjar, mmm.. (love) (love)
Apr 11:
nempeeell... (nempeell? Aduaduaduaduaduu..) (love) (love)
Apr 20:
"aku mo ngomong serius nih sama kamu." "....mmm ya?" "seriusseriusseriusserius." "zzzz"
Apr 27:
"There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. You say it best, when you saying nothing at all." (R. Keating)
Apr 29:
Provoost-Strip Biru

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Tu Me Manques Beaucoup

I miss our 'silly' conversations
A long talk, just talked about us,
talked about the old times,
remembered about our stupid high school time, and Bandung-Jogja time.

When you touched my hair...
When you touched my eyebrows just because you know that's the easiest way to make me asleep...
When I squeezed your cheeks and you said, "mas koki" while moving your silly lips...
When I watched you sleep peacefully, and you even didn't notice it because of your '3-secs-sleep' habit...

When you just stared at me with no words because I did some make up for the first time, and you said I'm beautiful, and then I screwed it all by saying "ih, apaan sih?" while blushing because I didn't know how to response that, and you said, "you supposed to say thank you.."

I miss you
I miss our talks

It's funny how could I miss you even more when you're in Jakarta, than our Bandung-Jogja time.

It must be hard for him too.
You supposed to support him, idiot.
Not distract him.

Just....grow up, Ney.
Please, for once in your life.

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Another Random Dream

Weird in a good way.
So, last night I have a weird dream yet so real and very nice indeed. It included this guy...

Right. Jake Gyllenhaal.
He looked exactly like this expression, complete with his beard, his costumes and stuff in this movie, and his muscles, but no hood.

If you ask why, I don't know why.
Well, maybe because I watched Narnia before. So instead of Caspian, I dreamt about his bigger-and-mature-more twin, Jake Gyllenhaal. And you all know how I feel about those kind of guys (with beard and mustache thingy), sooo manly! :D

Okay, I'll give you a bonus (actually I'm bonus-ing myself, hahaha)


Jadi ini dia kenapa aku kalo nyapu nggak pernah bisa benar-benar bersih. :D

P.s: Pics are from google and imdb
P.p.s: Pacar jangan cemburu yaa, kan kamu juga punya dua-duanya.. :D
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Taktik Pria

suatu malam, perbincangan antar-telfon seperti malam-malam sebelumnya...
N: "Eh yang, aku diundang ke rumahnya si A loh." (A itu cowok)
O: "Trus kamu mau?"
N: "Emangnya boleh?" (sambil ketawa ngejek, soalnya biasanya pasti 'boleh tapi ngambek' haha)
O: "Yaah, aku sih ngikutin kamunya aja gimana." (sok cool)
N: "Yang beneeerr? Di sana ada si A, B, C looh..." (cowok-cowok lainnya yang suka dia cemburuin)
O: "Yaa gapapa, kan sekarang kamu ndut."
N: "Maksudnya?"
O: "Yaah aku 'aman' deh pokoknya."
N: -______-'

Jadi selama ini udah terjawab deh kenapa setiap kali dia ngajak ngedate pasti ada acara makannya.


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percakapan suatu sore di telfon lintas-provinsi...
N: "Yang kangen nih! Aaaah..." *uring-uringan*
O: "Hmm? Yaa..."
N: "Ah kamu ga kangen ya?" *childish mode: on*
O: "Ya kangen dong, tapi yaudah ga bisa diapa-apain lagi." *mature mode: on*

*krik krik*

percakapan suatu sore di sebuah restoran di PVJ, Bandung...
N: "Ih sebel, masa si pacarku kalo aku bilang kangen jawabannya lempeng bgt. satu nada. heuu padahal akunya udah heboh bgt gitu."
U: "Ahaha sama banget! Cowokku juga gitu! Jawabannya persis lagi! Ck."
N & U: *merenung bersama*

Intinya: Pria-pria itu realistis sekali ya. Apa emang dari sononya cuma punya satu nada? Doooo...

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Manusia rendahan yang tidak ingin direndahkan.

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The Bachelor

Oke, saya ini korban televisi, apalagi setelah Star World berubah lambang jadi agak lebih chic, makin nggak pindah-pindah channel deh saya, hahaha.

Anyway, gara-gara semalem insomnia-nya kambuh, alhasil saya nontonin tivi aja kerjaannya, dan kebetulan tontonannya lagi The Bachelor.

When I first saw this reality show, I was like, "Ew, what the hell!"
Secara isinya 1 orang cowok mencari calon istri dari 25 wanita. Apalagi di season yang ini, 'London calling' or something, si cowoknya ini emang ganteng berat, beraksen, mapan, dan wowow lainnya deh. Makin menggila deh cewek-cewek itu.

Sekali lagi. Cewek-ceweknya itu loh. Agresif berat. Sorry, but they kinda humiliated themselves. Saya aja sampe malu sendiri nontonnya.

Tapi, setelah semalam, akhirnya saya bisa melihat sesuatu di balik kedangkalan si cewek-cewek itu. Bahwa, ternyata bener kata bapak saya:

"Pria memang suka dengan 'bad girl' macam itu, tapi tidak untuk 'dibawa pulang'. Dan sebaliknya, wanita pun sama."

Dan benar aja, si pria ini langsung nge-cut si bad girls ini.

Ah, cewek-cewek ini mungkin harus berguru dulu sama bapak saya.

P.s: Sometimes I wonder, terkadang kita punya idealisme tertentu kalo menyangkut pasangan hidup. Me too, and it's really fine. But then again I asked myself whether I deserve 'him' or not. Sudahkah aku 'sebaik' dia? Sudahkah aku 'selembut' dia? 'Se-penyayang' dia? And I believe, whoever Allah had chosen to us before we born, is the best that we could deserve.
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Rise from The Ashes

A lonely creature that couldn't reproduce, and it was one of its kind, as there could only be one kind at a given time. When it became old it died in the middle of flames and then it revived from its ashes. And it's Phoenix, symbol of immortality and resurrection.

Somehow, i adore it.
It rises from its ashes.
Always wish that I could be like it, and
Nothing's gonna take my flames down.
Like this poem i found:

My yesterdays were burned
by Amy Sondova

Yet in the death’s ash, embers of hope remain
New dreams given birth in despair
Covered with ash, I mourn what was
To remember what will be no more
Then like the Phoenix I’ll rise
With renewed passion glowing red, yellow, orange
Ash will give way to flame
Like the Phoenix I’ll soar again


Could I?
Seems like giving up is the easiest way..

A friend of mine ever told me:
"A little-baby never gave up to learn how to walk, even he/she always fell down thousands times, and got hurt. But, guess what? Instead of giving up, he/she never stopped, and it's work! He/she able to have a little step, even run in the next 1-2 years! That's the power of faith."

Why all problems always ended in this-'faith'-thing?

P.s: I repost it from my facebook's notes. Pic's from google.
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After Tangled

After watched Tangled, I've realized something.

Saya suka pria berjenggot/berjanggut (yang mana deh yang bener), dan berbadan besar. Nyahahaha, geli banget kan dengernya? Tapi ini beneran, hahaha.

That's why I love Flynn Rider. hahaha!

Flynn Rider! (pretend to be) Bad Boy

hey, I've never seen this scene!

you know what, when it came to this scene,
I suddenly said 'aaaaw' loudly and uncontrolably!
think my friends're ashamed of me haha

and don't forget about Pascal!
I used to freak out of reptile, but this cute chameleon could be the exceptional. :D

P.s: Pics are from IMDB.com
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Miracles Happen Everyday

Sometimes, I think Allah gave me clues, I just didn't notice.
Like what happened last night.

Aku lagi sedih banget (kayaknya plus labil juga lagi PMS) karena suatu hal, plus ragu-ragu juga apa aku bisa melakukan sesuatu yang kalo orang rasional bilang 'impossible'. Apalagi belakangan ini aku sering ngerasa sendirian, bener-bener yang kayak no one could help me deh.

Silly me.

After Isya, aku mendadak keingetan buku yang udah lamaaa banget ku beli, tapi belum sempet aku baca. Mendadak aku pengen baca, dan kalimat pertama yang aku baca bunyinya begini:

Sungguh Allah tidak akan mengubah keadaan suatu kaum kecuali bila kaum yang bersangkutan berusaha mengubah sendiri keadaannya (Qs. Ar-Ra'du: 11).

Aku merinding. Dia menjawabnya, langsung.

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Jadi hari sabtu kemarin itu, karena lagi sama-sama stress dan bosen ngemall-ngemall lagi, plus si pacar pake Yamaha juga, akhirnya dari awal minggu kemarin kita udah ngerencanain ke Dufan! (pengguna Yamaha beli 1 gratis 1)

And it works for me so well that week. Bimbingan semangat, kertas dicoret-coret dosen tetap semangat, ditanya-tanyain dosen nggak bisa jawab tetep semangat, revisi seabrek tetep semangat, nyari referensi semangat. Pokoknya mo ngapa-ngapain semangat gara-gara mikirin Dufan. Hahaha!

Seru bangetlah pokoknya!

Udah pernah nyobain Hysteria? Kita baru kemarin itu. Dan reviewnya satu deh, Hysteria nggak ngasih kesempatan untuk nggak histeris. Bahkan untuk ngambil nafas. Hahaha! (pengalaman pribadi)

By the way, gara-gara ngeliat anak kecil asik banget makan popcorn, kitapun akhirnya ngiler dan makan popcorn juga, ternyata, sumpaaahh enak banget! Recommended deh, apalagi yang kita makan waktu itu, cheese flavour. Yum yumm! (Loh ini kenapa ujungnya juga rekomendasi makanan ya, bhahaha)

Enough talk. Here are some picts for you...

Oiya, foto-foto ini juga hasil dari cuci-scan roll film-nya si Pinko yang pertama, dengan cross-processing, di Seni Abadi, Wastu Kencana, Bandung. Lucu ga, lucu ga? Enak banget cuci-scan di sana, ramah-ramah banget orangnyaa! Dan cuma sejam. Yihaa!

Yea, I do did fun!

P.s: dear pacar, thanks for letting my childhood alive. I really love you!
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Kid Inside

Ankara, 2009.

We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.
-Meredith Grey-

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Aku iri dengan orang-orang yang sudah tau dengan mimpinya. Bahkan ada yang bisa merincinya dengan sangat detail, walaupun hanya sekedar mimpi. Bahkan lebih iri lagi dengan yang mau dan bisa mewujudkannya.

Kalau aku, aku hanya punya yang pertama. Keinginan untuk bermimpi. Aku tau mimpi-mimpiku walaupun masih blur, sangat sangat blur. Tapi untuk mewujudkannya. Wow, nanti dulu...

I'm a coward. Yea called me that.

  1. Takut si mimpi berbenturan dengan kepentingan yang lain
  2. Takut si mimpi tidak sesuai dengan harapan yang lain
  3. Takut gantungannya si mimpi tidak setinggi 'bintang'
  4. Takut si mimpi merepotkan dan menyusahkan yang lain
  5. Takut si mimpi merusak mimpi yang lain, yang bahkan untuk memikirkannya saja aku takut.


Orang-orang bilang, "jangan takut bermimpi." Hell yeah, dulu memang begitu, dan teorinya memang begitu. Tapi setiap orang punya situasi dan kondisinya masing-masing. Jadi, jangan mengeneralisir.

Maybe, someday I will. I will not be afraid of dreaming.
But now, it's time to face reality.

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Don't Be Scared

I promise to myself. From now on,
I will learn to hold back.
I'm gonna lose a lil bit of myself, but that's ok.

InsyaAllah pasti bisa.
Sudah saatnya.

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Favreau Favreau

Gara-gara ngeliat salah satu temen backpacker posting fotonya si mas ganteng ini di facebook, aku jadi sadar. Ternyata banyak juga fansnya doi. Termasuk saya! :D

Siapa sih?

Ini dia.

Mas Jonathan Favreau bolo-bolo. Speechwriter-nya Barack Obama. Sebenarnya agak berharap dia ikutan dateng ke Indonesia, aheuw aheuw...
  • Smarty-pants
  • HIS (Handsome-in-Suit)
  • NLY (Nerdy-Looks-Yummy)
  • White-Housey kinda guy (bhahaha, apa sih)
  • President's Assistant and Director of Speechwriting
Couldn't ask for more. :D

Here are some pics from mbah Gug just for you. Enjoy! :D

in the Oval Office

looking serious

Pasti jago ngegombal. Raawrr! :D

P.s: Dear pacar, I LOVE YOU! Jangan cembulu yaaa! Hihihi ;P Buat yang mau liat doi beraksi, tonton aja By The People: The Election of Barack Obama.
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Normal and Stable

Jadi keingetan sesuatu. Kayaknya bakal panjang nih postingnya.

Berawal dari browsing sana-sini, sampai nemu 'catatan harian online'-nya si wanita ini. Trus jadi keingetan sesuatu. Gini awalnya.

Suatu hari, si pria ini entah dari mana ngeliat profil maya-ku. Waktu kali pertama kita ngobrol adalah pada saat si pria ini nge-'add' salah satu akun messengerku. Awalnya nggak aku tanggepin sampe dia menyebut salah satu teman dekatku waktu SMA. Anyway, si pria ini bilang dia kenal banget sama teman SMA-ku ini, teman kecilnya apa kalo nggak salah. Akhirnya, kita ngobrol banyak.

Awalnya juga biasa aja ngobrol sama si pria ini. Pas aku tanya si teman SMA-ku, dia kaget juga kenapa aku bisa kenal, tapi intinya dia tau si teman kecilnya itu, dan aku percaya teman SMA-ku ini. Tapi lama-lama, obrolannya mulai intens. He began to text me. And that's when I knew he began to 'approach' me. (halah) Bukannya pede, tapi aku seperti punya radar when they did it. Karena pada dasarnya, aku takut didekati pria. Seriously. Even my boyfriend ever said he always scared to tell that he loves me, karena pada dasarnya dia tau aku yang 'penakut' ini, dan dia nggak mau aku takut sama dia karena perasaannya dia. (Padahal kan waktu itu aku juga ngarep dia ngomong, dasaaaarr...)

Intinya, aku mulai takut sama pria ini. Apalagi waktu dia mulai menunjukkan tanda-tanda tertentu. Aku selalu mengibaratkan pria-pria dalam tahap ini seperti burung:
  1. Burung merak jantan pada musim kawin yang ingin mendapatkan pasangannya, biasanya akan mengembangkan ekor-ekornya yang indah. Tujuannya: supaya terlihat keren, dan pasangannya jadi takjub
  2. Burung unta pada musim kawin yang ingin mendapatkan pasangannya, biasanya melakukan tarian konyol dengan memutar-mutar tubuhnya. Tujuannya: supaya pasangannya terkesan dia 'jago akan sesuatu'
Dalam keadaan normal dan stabil, biasanya aku langsung males nih kalo ada yang ngedeketin kayak gini. Ibarat bunglon, aku akan mengubah warnaku jadi warna-warna tajam supaya bunglon jantan tau aku mengirim pesan, "jangan dekat-dekat!"

Anywhoo, aku nggak kayak bunglon. Jadi walaupun terdengar klise, tapi aku ngasih sinyal 'kita temenan aja', and I mean it. I really hoped we could be friend. Tapi ternyata doi nggak mau tuh, and one day he disappeared.

Time flies. Nothing's changed with me.

Someday, somehow, I was checking on my social network account, and I found this girl. Sebenarnya wanita ini juga sekolah di SMA yang sama denganku, dan dia berteman dengan teman-temanku. I know her, and I'm pretty sure she knows me, but we didn't talk each other. Yah, seperti itulah. She's kinda changing her relationship status, with someone I knew I'm familiar with. And, guess who?

Yea, that guy. That exact same guy.

To me, see that, I was like, "wow, small world, huh?!" Beneran nggak ada perasaan jealous sama sekali. Bahkan aku sempat nge-add si pria ini, karena aku anggap dia teman lama. Serius deh nggak pake tanda kutip. Dan pas ngeliat tanggal jadiannya, aku sempat mengelus-ngelus dagu.

Waktu yang sama dengan waktu dia menghilang. Hmmm... (naluri provoost plus kebanyakan nonton film detektif, hadeh.)

Hal pertama yang terpikir: "Antara kebetulan, atau emang 'pindahnya' cepat, atau dia pasang 'perangkap' dimana-mana?" Dan jujur, perasaanku nggak enak banget, apalagi setelah dulu sempat menebak pria macam apa dia. Jujur, aku pengen ngasih tau si wanita ini, tapi gimana lagi. Pertama, mereka udah jadian. Kedua, aku nggak terlalu deket sama si wanita. Masa ujug-ujug. Akhirnya aku pilih diam.

And I made BAD BAD decision. Beberapa bulan kemudian aku penasaran kok belum ada tanda-tanda si pria ini meng-confirm undangan pertemananku ya? Dan ternyata pas di cek, emang belum di-confirm. Sempat bertanya-tanya tapi akhirnya malah lupa gara-gara terlalu excited for going abroad to Turkey. Yay! Dan karena perjalanan dan internet yang cuma bisa di hotel, akhirnya aku jarang online.

Hari itu, bosan sendirian di hotel pas abis mandi (roomate-ku lagi ngecengin bule-bule Turki, haha), akhirnya ku putuskan hot spot-an di laptop. First notification I got was from that guy. He confirmed me. And I smelt something fishy. Dan benar saja, ternyata mereka berdua putus. And the day he confirmed me was the exact day he broke up with her! Even he wall-ed me with something nice and 'ganjen' and 'sok deket' words. Tapi terus dia hapus, dan diganti something polite like, "Hey, Ney, gimana kabarnya?" But hell-ooo, it's written on my email. Asshole.

Dan baru tau baru-baru ini, they broke up because he cheated on her. JERK!

Dan aku semakin merasa bersalah sama si wanita ini, because I've never told her. What would you do if you're me?

P.s: Pesan moralnya adalah kita bisa menilai seseorang dengan benar ketika kita berada di situasi yang sangat normal dan stabil. So, be stable. Dan untuk si wanita ini, saya benar-benar minta maaf. I'm really sure that you're worth the great guy, way much greater than him. Fighting! :')
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want to introduce my new (not)toycam, Pinko!
thanks, indocomtech!

P.s: Duh newbie bgt nih, kalo ada yang punya Disderi Robot 3 35mm juga, mau berguru dongg.. hehehe..
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Get Well Soon

Jogja, cepat sembuh ya. :'(

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Aku memang sudah tua dan kolot, ketinggalan zaman katanya.
Aku memang jauh lebih lamban, tidak seprima, dan tidak seproduktif dulu.
Dibandingkan pada saat pertama kali kita bertemu.
Tapi aku rasa hal itu tidak bisa dijadikan alasan untuk meninggalkanku.

Tidak adil rasanya.
Padahal aku tak pernah mengkhianatimu, meninggalkanmu. Sedikitpun.
Kuberikan semuanya yang kau mau, tapi kau remehkan aku tepat di wajahku.
Teganya kau sakiti aku setelah semuanya yang kuberikan untukmu.
Teganya kau buang aku karena aku tidak semenarik dulu.

Padahal itu semua juga karenamu.
Karena aku yang terlalu setia padamu.

Apa kau senang dengan pacar barumu?
Dia kan berbeda denganku.
Dia jauh lebih keren dan modern, tidak seperti aku yang keriput dan kuno ini.
Bagaimana kabarmu dengannya?

Semoga dia juga bisa menghidupimu seperti aku dulu.
Semoga dia juga bisa setia layaknya aku dulu.

Maaf, tapi aku ingin putus denganmu.

Tapi tidak.
Tidak seperti yang lain yang bisa berpikir klise, "kita berteman saja" setelah putus.
Karena aku tidak bisa.
Maaf, kita tidak bisa berteman setelah ini.


Sampaikan saja salamku untuk pacar barumu, Teknologi.
Semoga kalian bahagia.

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Ternyata masih ada orang-orang yang berpikir jika dengan merendahkan orang lain, maka dirinya sendiri akan tampak 'lebih tinggi'.

Salah besar, man. That's what I called arrogancy.

If you were trully being higher somehow, then you'd be higher by itself. Even when you did nothing to prove it. There's no need to step on peeps' heads.

We're nothing, man. Just a lil dot. A piece of dust.
Apa yang bisa dibanggakan dari sebutir debu?

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Seorang teman baik pernah berkata, "Emang sih, rasa insecure itu nggak pandang bulu soal milih korbannya, nggak peduli orang itu udah se-perfect apapun juga. Tapi, yaaah... anggap aja itu anti self-respect, kalo lo aja nggak menghargai diri lo sendiri, siapa lagi?"

Yeah, I've been there too. Who hasn't anyway?

Dan itu ngeganggu banget. Ada-ada aja deh kasusnya, mulai dari diomongin orang, sampe diomongin diri sendiri. :D Dan yang lebih nyebelin lagi, kebetulan banget orang-orang ini bukan orang-orang yang kenal sama kita. Hemmm...

Seorang teman bahkan pernah bilang aku itu cewek yang "open-book" banget (kayak ujian aja!), nggak ada misterius-misteriusnya, bikin cowok-cowok jadi males ngedeketin. Dan yang ngomong gitu cowok. Bayangin aja, hahahaha. As he said, "kebaca banget deh. Apalagi dari blog, twitter, plurk, dan semua account jejaring sosial lo yang lain deh."


Waktu itu jelas aku down banget, sampe akhirnya salah satu teman baikku (cewek) bilang, "duh apaan sih tuh cowok. Emang semua cowok kayak dia? Nggak usahlah didengerin. If they don't like you the way you are, it's their lost. Dan menurut gue, lo nggak se-open-book itu kok, buktinya gue masih suka terkaget-kaget kadang lo bisa sangat-sangat dewasa, sedetik kemudian kayak anak kecil, di detik kemudian balik dewasa lagi."


Dan gara-gara kata-kata itu (plus aku disuruh nonton He's Just Not That Into You), it felt waaaaayy better! :D

So, instead of 'open-book' person, I chose 'honest' to replace it.

Kesimpulan: Resep anti-insecure adalah sebagai berikut...
  • paling sedikit 1 buah persahabatan (pastikan isi kemasan belum expired, dan lebih banyak lebih baik), dan
  • 129 menit waktu untuk menonton film He's Just Not That Into You.

A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
-Gigi, He's Just Not That Into You-

But, beware of those 'insecure-girls-hunters' out there. So that if you really like someone, make sure you really care about that person, not because that person fills your emptyness (so lame!), but completes you. :D

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Unfinished Business

I am really unsure about writing this post, but I keep thinking about something. Something that I have tried not to think about, something that I think I am too scared even just thinking about.

So I help myself with the thought that I was a mean person. That is it. But it is not enough. It is never enough. And I feel haunted and guilty even more when someone else told about this person. And I never, ever, in my any cells of my body, have a thought to hurt this person.

I know I was wrong. I never had a clear statement to this person, so I hope this person read my post, because you know, I'm suck on talking. Really suck. And I never have any guts to tell the truth, because I don't want to hurt this person, not anymore.

Okay, I'm stuck here.
I'll put some lines from one of my favourite movies that describe my feelings the most

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Summer: Well, you know, I guess it's 'cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and... now he's my husband.
Tom: Yeah. And... so?
Summer: So, what if I'd gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I'd gotten there 10 minutes later? It was - it was meant to be. And... I just kept thinking... Tom was right. [about true love that they talked about before]
Tom: No.
Summer: Yeah, I did.
Summer: I did. It just wasn't me that you were right about.

It just wasn't me that you were right about.

So, listen here, I always believe that you have a huge heart, and you are a great person. And I believe that someday, if you always think you are a great person, you will be a great one. And trust me, I know that somewhere, somehow, you will meet the one. We will never know what Allah had planned to all of us. You always told me that. I am so sorry.

Everything happened for a reason.


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Come Back Soon

Spongebob: What do you usually do when I'm gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

wait, so that means i'm Patrick. errr.. #nggaklucu

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Love Letter

Sebenarnya ini bukan tentang kematianmu, bukan itu.
Karena, aku tahu bahwa semua yang ada pasti menjadi tiada pada akhirnya, dan kematian adalah sesuatu yang pasti, dan kali ini adalah giliranmu untuk pergi, aku sangat tahu itu.

Tapi yang membuatku tersentak sedemikian hebat,

adalah kenyataan bahwa kematian benar-benar dapat memutuskan kebahagiaan dalam diri seseorang, sekejap saja, lalu rasanya mampu membuatku menjadi nelangsa setengah mati, hatiku seperti tak di tempatnya, dan tubuhku serasa kosong melompong, hilang isi.

Kau tahu sayang, rasanya seperti angin yang tiba-tiba hilang berganti kemarau gersang.

Pada airmata yang jatuh kali ini, aku selipkan salam perpisahan panjang,
pada kesetiaan yang telah kau ukir,
pada kenangan pahit manis selama kau ada,

aku bukan hendak megeluh, tapi rasanya terlalu sebentar kau disini.

Mereka mengira aku lah kekasih yang baik bagimu sayang,
tanpa mereka sadari, bahwa kaulah yang menjadikan aku kekasih yang baik.

Mana mungkin aku setia padahal memang kecenderunganku adalah mendua, tapi kau ajarkan aku kesetiaan, sehingga aku setia, kau ajarkan aku arti cinta, sehingga aku mampu mencintaimu seperti ini.

Selamat jalan,
Kau dari-Nya, dan kembali pada-Nya,

kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada. Selamat jalan sayang, cahaya mataku, penyejuk jiwaku, selamat jalan, calon bidadari surgaku ….


P.s: Lupa banget sumbernya dari mana! Maaaafff....
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Lil Update

Si pacar akhirnya keterima kerja juga, di BRI. Setelah melalui proses yang panjang, lama, dan penuh pengorbanan *dramatis*, akhirnya... :) So proud of him, apalagi mengingat pertama kali dia ngasih CV ya ke BRI ini, langsung keterima. Jadi nggak ngerasain nganggur setelah lulus deh, walaupun jadinya nggak bisa ikutan wisuda. *nggak apa-apa ya yang, nanti kita foto wisuda sendiri aja yah... :D*

Sebenernya, seneng banget pacar udah keterima kerja. It's a big step ahead indeed. Pengennya cepat nyusul juga, hihihi. Tapi di sisi lain, aku jadi nggak punya teman. Biasanya ada dia, bisa nelpon kapan aja, lama-lamaan. Apalagi kalo pas dia di Jakarta, bisa main-main, jalan-jalan, wisata kuliner, berenang bareng, nonton, nge-froyo, atau cuma sekedar main monopoli di rumah. These things become my bubble-world, my box, my comfort zone, that finally I have to leave.

When I talked to someone about this, this person just reacted, "duh, kayak anak kecil banget sih lo." Yea, you can call me whatever you want. And this is not the first time I got reaction like that.

Dammit, I have to find Neverland. I envy you, Peter Pan! #KesimpulanYangSalah :P

Ingat episode Spongebob yang ini? Spongebob dan Patrick bermain dengan imaginary box-nya, tapi selalu diganggu Squidward yang apatis, yang nggak percaya sebuah kardus kosong bisa begitu menyenangkan. Tapi akhirnya Squidward mupeng juga tuh, hahaha!
Source: here


P.s: Mulai dari hari rabu ini sampe senin minggu depan, si pacar ada outbond bareng kantornya di Sukabumi. Yang lebih nyiksa, DILARANG BAWA HANDPHONE. :'(( ENAM HARIII! #WhatTheHell #Nelangsa #BigSigh #DamnIWillMissMySpongebobSquareHead #EnamHariMauMati #BerasaLDRLagih #NggakBisaTidur
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Tensionless Horror Movie

Pernah nggak ngerasa pengen atau penasaran banget nonton film horror tapi nggak berani males nonton, karena males deg-degan (deg-degan aja kok males, ck!). Kalo aku pernah banget tuh, sering malah. Karena jujur, I am a big fan of horror movie, tapi yang berkualitas, yang pure horror, yang hantunya muncul naturally. Such as, Shutter, Paranormal Activity, Mirror (film Indonesia), Quarantine atau model horror klasik macam Drag Me To Hell.

Tapi, ya itu tadi. Capek kaget-kagetnya, tapi penasaran. Dan kalo aku pribadi sih, tanpa faktor kaget-kaget itu tadi, aku masih bisa menikmati filmnya. Jadi, kalo kasusnya kayak aku gini, here I give you some tips to watch horror movie tensionless.
  • Suara. Mood penonton dari sebuah film horror sebagian besar dikendalikan oleh suara. Baik itu, backsound atau sound effect. Jadi, kalo mau nonton film horror tanpa kaget, usahakan bagaimana caranya untuk mengecilkan volume suara tersebut. Kalo kasusnya lagi di bioskop, tutup kuping aja. Masih kedengeran kok suaranya, tapi pelan. And it works more effective than if you close your eyes.
  • Jangan lengah. Dengan kata lain, selalu siaga. Beberapa kasus film horror mungkin hanya menegangkan di malam hari, tapi di kasus lain, ketegangannya nggak pandang bulu. Selain itu, jangan terjebak backsound atau sound effect yang mereda. Karena bukan berarti ketegangan mereda, justru biasanya ada 'gempa susulan'. That's what I called it. Biasanya kasus ini memang sengaja diciptakan sang sutradara untuk mengatasi penonton yang sedang menutup telinga.
  • Jam awal. Menontonlah di siang hari. Terbukti loh, ini pengaruh banget. Kenapa? Karena hari masih panjang. Setelah nonton, kita masih bisa makan dulu, jalan-jalan dulu, belanja, nana nini dulu. Syukur-syukur bisa lupa. Coba kalo kita nontonnya midnight, paling langsung pulang, sampe rumah langsung tidur. Belum kalo di bioskop mesti nyari-nyari tempat parkir dulu, kan. Padahal paling berasa takutnya kalo abis nonton horror tuh ya pas sendirian, mau tidur, sama mandi, ya nggak? Kalo udah nonton siang tapi masih kebayang, mp3 player will work a lot. :D
  • Pelampiasan. Kadang, beberapa film horror bikin penontonnya gregetan, entah itu lagi kejar-kejaran sama setan, main tak umpet sama setan, atau setannya nggak muncul-muncul. Kalo aku, pas keadaan lagi kayak gini, aku butuh pelampiasan yang bisa diremas-remas atau ditinju-tinju atau dicubit-cubit. Paling pas emang ngajak pacar. Kalo orang lain ngajak pacar biar bisa meluk pas takut, kalo pacarku malah jadi babak belur kayaknya, untung dia pelatih bela diri. :P Kalo kasusnya di rumah, pillows will work too.
  • Open your eyes. Kalo ini sih aku pribadi ya, dan cenderung agak riskan. Kalo aku, aku nggak pernah menutup mata waktu nonton film horror. Percaya atau enggak, justru ketika terang-terangan aku ngelihat penampakan setannya, malah cenderung jadi nggak takut. Kok bisa? Karena aku malah mikirin make-up nya si setan, rambutnya dicatok, dan hal-hal lain. Tapi di beberapa kasus yang make-up artisnya keren, justru hal ini malah bikin tambah kebayang malam-malamnya. Jadi kalo saran yang ini 50:50 deh. Hahahaha.
I think that's all, folks. Ada tambahan?

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Horror Scene

Park Gae In: I wanted to scare him just a lil bit, but he's really scared.

LOL! This is one of my favorite scenes.
For the Personal Taste lovers, wait for the other scenes. :D

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